Music is a form of communication unlike any other. No matter what language you speak a melody that moves you is the same across nations. The emotion you feel from music is what matters the most. Three songs that have meaning to me at this moment in my life are:
1. Chandelier by Sia – This song to me is someone who’s unhappy with the life they are living. She sings about how she’s drowning her sorrows with alcohol and partying and she’s going to live the night like theres no tomorrow. And I don’t take this as a “carpe diem” type of living, I feel from this song that she doesn’t care if she lives or dies. She’s feeling trapped and doesn’t know how to escape so she just keeps going on with the same cycle of drinking. She doesn’t feel good about herself or her life unless she’s drunk and able to get that momentary break from reality, and only then is she happy. I can relate to this because I am often unhappy with the life I lead. I drown my sorrows on occasion as well and I used to get high to escape the misery of sobriety.
2. For the Love of a Daughter by Demi Lovato – This song makes me cry no matter how many times I listen to it. “All I could hear was the family war.” Her father was drunken and abusive to her mother and neglectful to his children. She still loves him and craves his affection even though he never seems interested. She can’t understand how he could hurt is own family. And she feels cast out and unwanted by her own father. This hits home really hard for me. My mother was always drunk and used to beat me and scream at me until, at 5 years old, I wanted to die. I used to beg and plead. Now that I’m grown I still feel the pain of those moments like they just happened. My entire life is affected by my childhood. Every relationship I have is tainted with trust issues. Every fear I have stems back to not being love and accepted by my own mother.
3. If it Means a Lot to You by A Day to Remember – The first time I had my heart broken I just remember this song was my comfort and solice. The lead singer is singing “If you can wait till I get home, then I swear we can make this last.” He is obviously on the road and separated from his girlfriend. He loves and misses her. She can’t deal with the separation. The girl lead sings how she only feels complete when he’s home with her and she wants him to come home but she knows he’s trying to make a career for himself and they are struggling with breaking up. He replies with “I swear I’ll never be happy again, and don’t you dare say we can just be friends.” The first time I fell in love I fell hard. He was my best friend. We were friends for almost a year before we got together. Our romance was sudden and wild and unrelenting. I would have been with him the rest of my life if he let me. But I moved away to college 2 hours away and only saw him every other weekend and he couldn’t handle it. He broke up with me over the phone and I ditched class for over 2 weeks. I sunk into a very deep depression after never feeling loved by my mother and now feeling unloved and unwanted by the love of my life. This song gives me the chills at how similar the emotions are from the song to what I was feeling during that time. *I don’t always write every day because I am very busy with my job, but when I do I have a very specific routine. I make a hot cup of tea or coffee, I snuggle up with my sherpa blanket over my shoulders. I usually sit in silence or sometimes I sit and listen to nature. My routine is to just pick something that pops into my head and make a topic out of it.*
*Edit – I would also like to say that Sigh No More by Mumford & Sons is probably one of the best written and put together albums of all time. Just my opinion but the entire album flows wonderfully from song to song and the culture and emotion dripping from every chord make my heart ache in such a warm way its crazy.*